“There was an Old Person of Prague,
Who was suddenly seized with the plague;
But they gave him some butter,
which caused him to mutter,
And cured that Old Person of Prague.”
Edward Lear, English artist, writer; known for his ‘literary nonsense’ & limericks (1812-1888)
“Unbuttered toast is a substance half complete, and to be forced to eat it in that state is necessarily to feel deprived.”
John Thorne, ‘Pot on the Fire’ (2000)
“Never allow butter, soup or other food to remain on your whiskers. Use the napkin frequently.”
Hill’s Manual of Social and Business Forms: Etiquette of the Table (1880)
Oh Butter….. how I love thee. There must be a sonnet out there somewhere that sings the praises of this, my cooking friend. Everything is better with butter. I can go through a sinful amount of butter in this house, especially when cooking. ( Doesn’t that leave you wondering what else I do with butter? Get your head out of the gutter!) I’m trying to tell you it is the beginning and the end of some pretty fantastic recipes. Pie crust, all butter, (Crisco does not live in our house anymore) cookies, ditto, as a finisher to a pan sauce, a requirement. Let us not forget; smeared upon corn on the cob, fresh bread, my evening slice of toast…. get the picture?
By now you are preparing to call together a group of friends and sit me down for an intervention.
“Gosh guys it’s great to see you all, what a surprise!”
” Annie, we need to talk. You know we all love you, so we can’t just stand by and watch you ruin your life. It’s this butter thing. It has got to stop! Don’t you see what it’s doing to you. You’re hooked ! You need to seek help or a program or something.”
“ Thanks guys but it’s not that bad. I can stop anytime.”

Mary's Blueberry (ton of butter) Pound Cake. Swoon!
“You’re in denial Annie, and can you pass me a piece of that pound cake?”
Listen, I can hook you up with another piece
You know there has to be a recipe on this page somewhere. We are going for the gold, as in butter gold.
Eggs Benedict (otherwise know as eggs topped with eggs and butter)

I use a blender for a fool-proof Hollandaise sauce. Do as I say and you will be in hog heaven in no time. (hog heaven, get it?)

Hollandaise Sauce
- 1 stick of butter
- three egg yolks
- the juice of 1 lemon
- cayenne pepper
- salt and pepper
- Melt the butter so that it is very hot, bubbling but not to the point of browning. ( I do this in the microwave with the butter in glass or microwave dish.)
- While butter is melting, separate eggs leaving yolks in blender. (store whites for a healthy egg white omelet tomorrow. You will need it when repenting for today’s cholesterol overload.)
- Add the juice of the lemon and dash of cayene pepper to the blender.
- Now here is the tricky part. Put the top on the blender,but remove the little inner cap. This will allow you to add the butter with out wearing the sauce in the process. Experience talking here.
- Begin to blend the egg yolks and lemon while slowly pouring in the hot butter. Continue to blend for 2 or 3 minutes as the sauce thickens and cooks in the blender.
- Stop and taste. Add salt and pepper if needed.
- Admire the beautiful Hollandaise you have created. Show it to the family and remind them how impressed they should be.
- Now begins the warning part, for things can go terribly wrong at this point. ( again, experience talking here) This sauce should be kept gently warm as you poach your eggs. I suggest having a pan of hot (not boiling) water near by. Make sure that you have the heat off under the pan. With the sauce still in the blender container, set it in the water till you are ready to use it. Do not reheat the sauce at this point or you will have butter scrambled eggs and not the good kind. Yuck! I know what I am talking about. Left over sauce will need to be warmed over a double boiler or warm water. I prefer to just eat it all in one sitting. (Here lays part of my problem perhaps?)
Now do your really need to know how to poach a few eggs, toast some english muffins and warm up a few slices of Canadian bacon? Really? OK. here it is quick and dirty.
1. Fill a shallow skillet with water. Water depth should be at least 3 inches. Bring water to a boil. Crack one egg at a time into a small ramikin or dish. When ready to poach egg, give the water a stir to bring down the boil of the water, and slip the egg gently into the water. Repeat with each egg. Allow egg to cook till desired doneness, 3-5 minutes. I like mine a bit runny so I will allow water to boil up over the top and wait about 2 minutes or so. You can also gently spoon the hot water over the top of the egg. Once egg is evenly opaque it should be done. Leave egg for a minute or so longer if you like a harder cooked egg. Slip the Canadian bacon into the water for a minute to warm it up.
Now assemble your Eggs Benedict. Toasted english muffin, topped with a slice of Candian bacon on each, poached eggs and a healthy drizzle of your Hollandaise sauce.
Enjoy and I am truly sorry that I have led you to the dark butter side. Maybe we could start our own recovery group. “Hi I’m Annie and I am a butterholic.” “Hi Annie.”
“Eat butter first, and eat it last, and live till a hundred years be past.” Old Dutch proverb
“I am in a very unsettled condition, as the oyster said when they poured melted butter all over his back.”
Edward Lear, ‘literary nonsense’ (1812-1888)